A Slight Break in Stride

The interruption in posts here actually has an explanation. Tuesday we spent the afternoon and evening with friends from out of town, enjoying food and wine and the city together. We went to bed, and I woke suddenly at 2:00 am, unsure why but feeling vaguely uneasy. I got up to go to the bathroom and realized, four steps into the hallway, that I was going to be sick. I went to the kitchen to get a bowl -- and that's where J. found me, several minutes later, unconscious on the floor. Fortunately he had heard a crash and woken up immediately. Unfortunately he was faced with a sight no spouse ever wants to see. I woke up to see his face close to mine, asking what was wrong -- and then became very very sick. When we saw what was coming up, he got a robe and slippers for me and rushed me to Royal Victoria Hospital, where we spent the next ten hours, a period of time I would just as soon forget. Luckily, maybe, I was too ill to be very frightened; I was losing quite a lot of blood, getting weaker, and thinking, well, if this is the way it is, isn't too bad, you just fade away. Of course they weren't about to let that happen; the very attentive staff was monitoring every vital sign they could monitor, checking my hemoglobin levels, giving me fluids intrvenously, ready to give me a transfusion if necessary.

Around six I began to feel a little better, and the diagnosis, after an endoscopy early in the morning, was the most obvious, simplest, and probably most preferable one under the circumstances - a bleeding gastric ulcer, most probably caused by aspirin. The gastroenterologist told me it should heal up, with medicine and care, in four weeks. I am going to have to recover from the anemia too, and have more follow-up. But with my sense of self returning, I'm pretty sure that's all it was and that I'll be fine. Scared in retrospect -- but OK.

Right now I'm reclining on the couch, slowly eating a smashed-up boiled potato, drinking ginger ale, and listening to Vivaldi choral works. I'm alive. I'm grateful for many things beyond that, too. And will write more later, when I've had a little more time to think things through.

Comments

[Marja-Leena]

Oh dear! That happened so fast, without warning - how scary! I'm thankful you had J. there, good care in the hospital and now you are on the mend. Best wishes for a speedy recovery and take it easy, Beth.

[dale]

This still makes me shaky, every time I think of it. I had to go find Martha and make her promise me to stay off the kitchen floor.

{{{Beth}}}

[Lorianne]

It's good to have you back, although of course you should be resting. Yes. Go lie down, now, with your smashed potato & ginger ale. Here, let me fluff your virtual pillow for you. :-)

Rest, and be well.

[maria]

{{{{Beth}}}}

rest and rest some more -- and be well!!

[Peter]

Good grief! Indeed you should rest, and when you get completely sick of that, take a walk in the park.

((You will have to tell us, is a socialized-medicine emergency room any better or worse than one in the States? ))

But first, get very well!

[Sara]

Oh, you poor thing! And poor J.! I'm glad you're on the mend.

[zuleme]

Oh gosh, that is scary. I hope you will be better soon. I had aa predawn trip to Maine Medical with Olof ahead of me in the ambulance years ago and hope I never, ever have to live through that again with anyone.

[language hat]

Jesus, Beth! Thank goodness you're OK (I mean, relatively speaking), and I hope such a thing never happens again -- to you or anyone either of us loves. What a nightmare. Feel better, and take care of yourself!

[blork]

OMG, that's terrible! I'm so glad you're feeling better.

Dr. Blork prescribes plenty of rest. Beautiful, blissful, Vivaldi-laden rest.

[kirsten]

You gave me such a fright! My heart-rate is just now returning to normal...

Take good, good care of yourself, Beth.

[susurra]

HI
More hugs and glad to see you post.
The mother hen in me wonders if ginger ale is ok on your list. Isn't a lot of soda type stuff rather acidic?
Ok ok you can see I'm worrying.
Be well SOON.

[Martine]

What a scare... and what a way to experience our scary emergency rooms...

I'm sending you lots of good vibes from across the river.

Bisou

[beth]

The voice from the couch...thanks everyone. I'm doing well, so long as I don't think too much. I'm really sorry for scaring everyone. Your well-wishes are hugely appreciated by both J. and me, and they really do help! I can already feel myself mending - I feel cross today, which is a good sign. And hungry! It's hard to remember to eat really, really slowly, but simple food is tasting very good and seems to be agreeing with my body. I'm no good at lying around, but I'm going to have to learn.

More to come, of course -- I realize now that my writer's mental recorder was working quite well during the hospital hours, taking notes even when the rest of me wasn't functioning too well.

[zhoen]

And antibiotics, I do hope. H.pylori causes uclers, the aspirin (probably) only triggered. My little bout with bleeding ulcer was nowhere near as bad, although I gave up alcohol for five years, and nipped an incipient bit of smoking forever. If your ginger ale has caffeine, that may not be the best idea.

I have a pretty good idea of how scary that was. Intrigued that your "going out" thoughts were so similar. Dying ain't so bad, it's leaving others to cope that feels most awful.

Take care of each other. Let your loved ones take care of you, as they work through their feelings. Let's not expect to be quite ok for a while, shall we? I am so sorry you went through this, but I look forward to the stories.

[beth]

Zhoen, thanks. I'm sorry to know you went through this too but glad to know you healed up. I will definitely be cutting out the caffeine (not that I drank much) and alcohol, as well as a bunch of other irritants. They're doing a culture to test for bacteria and will let me know; I asked about it several times but the gastroenterologist said he didn't think so, from the looks of the ulcer (which I got to see too, they handed me a color print-out when I asked if I could see. It was pretty cool to see inside my stomach, but then I have a rather strange fascination with biology, including my own.) You and Susan don't need to worry too much, the ginger ale was caffeine-free and had sat on the counter to get flat, but today I'm mostly drinking very mild uncaffeinated herb tea and water or broth, and eating bland food. Seems to be going OK.

[Natalie]

Beth, you already have my get well wishes and good vibrations. It's good to know you're feeling somewhat more normal. It would be interesting to hear how the Canadian med service responded to this emergency, as compared to how it might have been in the States. Anyway, glad to know you were in good hands.

[Rachel]

Dear Beth! You are in my thoughts and prayers. I wish healing for you, renewal of body and renewal of spirit, speedily.

*hug*

[anasalwa]

Beth,
I'm glad you're feeling better. You're in my thoughts and prayers. You've been working so hard, now it's time to rest.

[patry Francis]

What a terrifying tale! There is so much we take for granted. But I'm happy to hear of the positive outcome--you lying on the couch eating mashed potato, soaking up Vivaldi, and and undoubtedly percolating new insights that will benefit all of us.

[Jack Ruttan]

Get better soon. Save us some pictures. I've got strange pictures of the inside of my mouth, and have seen video of other places, but didn't ask for a copy. Soon, we can document ourselves inside and out. May be useful if they want to build a thrill ride based on one of us for the Exploratorium.

[Joerg]

Oh, sheesh, I hope you do feel better very soon! I had to battle stomach problems a while back, and I know how hellish that can be. BTW, back then somebody recommended I take slippery elm bark and marshmellow root (I think I bought both as fluids in little bottles) and those worked wonders. In any case, be well again soon!

[Chris Clarke]

Vivaldi's good.

But no Beethoven until your stomach's feeling better!

[Lois]

Oh, Beth! Being sick is not fun. Blessings to you and J. Please take very good care of you!