Yesterday was a moosey sort of day. Here in the north country we get sort of sick of moose: they are the perennial, fleecy mascot stuffed-animal item in tacky tourist gift shops, where they also adorn T-shirts and baseball caps and coffee mugs; flea-bitten taxidermized moose heads leer goofily over rustic bars and ski lodge fireplaces; and huge chain saw moose sculptures stand stiffly in too many flatlanders' front yards - they're more popular and more expensive than the other favorite, chain-saw black bears. (In Maine it's even worse: there they sell not only brown fleece moose toys, but red fleece lobsters.)
It's strange that moose have this cuddly image, because when you actually see one (whch most tourists never do) they are not only much larger than you ever imagined but downright scary, especially if it's nighttime and they've wandered, myopically and stupidly, out onto the highway. There are a lot of traffic fatalities caused by moose here, and most people know someone who has had a too-close encounter with one in a car. Every summer a young one, supposedly afflicted with parasites in its ears, wanders into one of the nearby villages and roams around the green before being chased out of town or, sadly, shot by conservation officers summoned by a hysterical suburban mother.
They're also seriously hunted - which is why they were re-introduced here, in a controversial move that has pitted yet another wild beast against high-traffic civilization: the two do not mix, any more than the gun-rack-and-pickup-equipped native Vermonters do with the imported flatlanders who wouldn't dream of owning a gun.
Yesterday at the post office the two employees were talking, as they sorted mail, about things they had trouble cooking. They went through tofu and tempeh and somehow made it to venison. One mentioned a recent conversation with a hunter-customer. "He said he'd gotten a moose," she said, "and then he said he was hoping to get a deer or two as well."
"Why does he need more than 900 pounds of moose meat?" asked the other woman.
"I asked him that and you know what he said?"
"Because they taste different," both women exclaimed, simultaneously.
In the mail, recently, there had been a get-well card from friends in Canada which illustrated the difference between tourist-trap moose appropriation, and truly developed moose-humor. It was, actually, an official card put out by Canada Poste. "Go Wild Canada!" it read, with a subtitle explaining that it is Canada's 138th birthday. On the card was a photo of a real (I swear!) and happy-looking moose wearing a bright-colored and maple-leaf-decorated party hat - the kind with the little elastic strap that goes under the chin - bewteen his antlers, and with one of those expanding-paper blowing noisemakers in its mouth. The salutation added, in French, "Canada brings out the animal in you!" My friend had written that she hoped "cette grosse bête tu ferait sourire" - and indeed he did make me smile.