Fear in the World Today

As you know by now, I've been cleaning. Today I went through a box of papers and photos and memorabilia from high school. Yes, it still exists. Don't ask how. But I braved the mildewed pages and the painful awkwardness of meeting, once again, my young self; I threw away most everything but kept a few items (like the sheet music at left) to remind me of that idealistic small town girl growing up in the sleepy 1950s and turbulent 1960s.

One thing I found was a folder labeled "English 11", containing essays from my eleventh grade class with Mr. Collins, a boozy Irishman with a big belly, voice, and intellect who was one of my best teachers. He loved Shakespeare, and he loved poetry, and he made both come alive for a classroom full of rural kids whose daily lives had little connection to either. He was also a good, and demanding, writing teacher. In the folder from his class I found an exam essay I'd written, under the title of "Fear in the World Today." It talks about what we used to call "the generation gap." Begging my dear readers' compassion and generosity, here I am, writing at age 16, in 1968 - the height of the Vietnam War.

Two of today's fears stem from the doubt and uncertainty common in our world; the first being the older generation's fear of the youth, and the second, the young people's fear of sinking into the "Establishment" in a static middle age.

Older people (those "over 30") are confused by the strange and radical ideas of our youth. The militancy on college campuses is frightening, and parents worry about the influence of fanatical rebels on their college-bound children. They wonder if riots are caused by Communists or Nazis, who they fear because of their own memories of World War II. The conservative unbringing of middle-aged persons makes unruly, ill-mannered youths seem particularly strange, as well as their denials of the existence of God, and often apparent lack of patriotism. The new preoccupation with astrology and the supernatural is equally hard for parents to understand. They are frightened by sexual overtones in music, theater, and art, and even more by the openness of the youth concerning these. Finally, the older generation is dismayed at the use of drugs - a practice condemned as immoral or indecent for well-thought-of people even fifteen or twenty years ago.

On the other hand, today's thoughtful youth are aware that they may sink into the same middle age existence as that of their parents upon leaving college. This, too, is frightening, for it would mean an end to their idealistic goals and ambitions for a better world. To revert to a life meant only for material gain is a nightmare for an aesthetically-minded student. Much of the rebellion in colleges is due to the young people's great desire to keep aesthetics in a primary light, and make materialism a secondary goal out of necessity. Today's middle-class values (which demand a well-kept suburban home, a bridge club, Friday nights out and just the right friends and the right entertainment) have disillusioned the youth with the older generation, and made them look higher. To end up in the same situation twenty years hence would be tragic.

Thus it may be seen that the generation gap is actually a synthesis of two fears which must be understood in order to close that gap.

Oh my. Embarrassing. And it's not twenty years now, but nearly twice that. If I had had any idea what society would actually look like when I did reach middle age, I wonder what I would have felt  back then: the clean-cut, docile, authority-respecting, materialistic kids inhabiting a lot of elite college campuses today are unrecognizeable to me, but the idealistic ones do still exist, struggling against tremendous peer pressure that tells them just to fit in and head for Wall Street. (Frankly, I find it a lot more frightening that there isn't a generation gap today.)

I'm grateful for the optimism, idealism, and non-conformity I embraced as a young woman, glad they haven't left me, and glad I've discovered that one can actually make choices and live independently, to a some extent, from the values of the surrounding society while still working toward change. I didn't understand any of that in the black-and-white world of the 60s.

Comments

[marja-leena]

Wow, that's a great essay coming from a 16 year old! And I think I recognize your voice there, so you haven't changed - only improved of course!

We've still got the LP of Hair, by the way! Even I thought it was radical when it came out. Our daughters were rather shocked that Mom and Dad would have that record, heh!

[Teju]

"Older people (those 'over 30') are confused by the strange and radical ideas of our youth."

Yes we are, my young one, yes we are.

:)

[Dave]

Nothing to be embarrassed of, Beth. You were writing so much better than I was at that age!

[Beth]

oh my god, it sounds so awful to me. But thanks, Dave and Marja-Leena! And Teju - you make me laugh!

[dale]

God, unbelievable courage. I can't even *look* at things I wrote when I was sixteen, let alone post them :-)

[Beth]

Believe me, the poetry went straight into the recycling bin and has been picked up by the truck. I was horrified!

[rr]

Amazing. I didn't *write* anything when I was 16.

[Steve]

I know I'd be embarrassed by some of the things I wrote at 16. But your essay is thoughtful and well-written. If it didn't get an A, it was your teacher's problem.

My daughter Sarah is a senior at Knox College in Galesburg, IL, and on that campus there are many idealistic students. One of her friends is actually a member of the Industrial Workers of the World (I hadn't realized the Wobblies were still around.) Sarah is trying to combine her writing skills with her love of nature and become an environmental writer (though she's still writing poetry).

Maybe it's just because of my contact with my children (ages 22, 21, and 16) and their friends, that I have a lot of hope for the younger generation.

[Beth]

Thanks for this comment, Steve. I know some terrific, idealistic kids too, and they do give me hope. Best of luck to your daughter and tell her to work hard on her writing - it's one of the most powerful ways to make a difference, and that's unlikely to change!