Artichoke

The softening takes hours,

for it's a spiny thing, wrapped

tight and scaled in curved

green shields quite unafraid

of blades --

but scissored, steamed,

stiletto-less;

its armor loosed;

the inner leaves so

obediently yield --

each taste a

succulence, each

petal-weight

a step from earth

to silk

to sky.

Comments

[marja-leena]

Oh, this is lovely! You are a poet, too, amongst your other gifts. This is almost erotic.

[Jean]

Absolutely gorgeous, Beth, both the photo and the poem. I had the same response as Marja-Leena - wanted to rub myself against the artichoke; the silky texture is so palpable.

[beth]

Thank you both. It was meant to be erotic! Just look at those colors too - I was amazed when I saw the photos.

[Rachel]

Oh, wow.

[Fred Garber]

Great poem! You ladies almost make me blush.

[Dave]

Very well done. My only criticism is that "obediently" seems a bit much. There might be other slight touches of hyperbole, but I'm having a hard time being critical here. The ending is good - I'm a sucker for good endings. It's especially fun coming so close after Pica's artichoke at Feathers of Hope the other day.

[beth]

Thanks a lot, Dave! I agree and will excise "obediently"; I am suspicious of every adjective and adverb in poetry - they are often what tips a poem over into the "too much" category, I think. How about the way the lines break - anybody have opinions? I tried it a number of different ways, was not especially satisfied with any of them.

[Dave]

Well, how about "willingly," for example? i don't object to adjectives and adverbs per se. I just question them maybe a little harder than nouns and verbs.

I'm afraid I can't give you any useful advice on line breaks - not my strong suit! I try several different arrangements for almost every poem i write.

[beth]

The 5 syllables of "obediently" work for me in a way that the 3 of "willingly" just don't. Maybe I can recast the line to use two verbs and a comma between them, instead of an adverb...it will take some thought! Thanks for the suggestions, Dave.

[Jean]

Oh no! Obediently (not to mention its lovely sing-song syllables) invoking alluring sensual surrender, surely.

[Bitterroot]

Ah, this is wonderful.