"You know what we say in Arabic..." said my father-in-law on the phone last week, after we'd told him everything was fine with us. "...If you don't have any worries, invent one." Two nights ago my sister-in-law called to tell us that he was in the hospital again, after another incident of chest pain strong enough that three nitroglycerin tablets wouldn't relieve it. His regular doctor is out of town, on a lecture circuit, so she wasn't there to keep him out of the hospital, as their mutually-agreed-upon care plan had said.
We're going down tomorrow, but today I called and got the main hospital switchboard, where I was asked to spell his last name (something that never happens in Montreal - they know how to pronounce and spell it here). She transferred me to the nursing station on his floor, where I was asked to repeat the name several times more. Finally I heard the beside phone ringing, and the familiar fumbling and delay as he juggled the receiver on its precarious journey from the cradle to his ear.
His voice sounded strong, and he was full of stories about the staff's efficiency; the misfortune of being ill on a weekend when all the doctors were out "enjoying their profits;" the way "all the furniture in the room had been rearranged" since this morning. He had needed to wash up in the shower and to his horror, two young female nurses had been sent to the room. "Imagine! They wanted to go into the shower with me!" he exclaimed. "I told them, 'Over my dead body!'" and they sent a male instead, which was all right. he did everything for me." Even though I couldn't see him, I could imagine his head shaking in wonderment at this latest adventure. He said he was up sitting in a chair, and that he was comfortable but wouldn't be released until Monday, since there were no doctors anywhere around. "A helicopter just flew by the window!" he reported, no doubt seeing the rescue helicopter that transports accident victims and premature babies from the remote areas of the region to the medical center. "Amazing! It's just incredible what goes on here."
He ordered us to enjoy ourselves while we could. "How's your work going?" It was fine, we told him - the irony is that we're working on a publication about end-of-life care in American hospitals - but we didn't say that. We assured him we'd see him soon. "I'll see you then, insh'allah," he said. "In Arabic we have a saying:'The devil never cracks his own pot.' Catastrophes keep happening, but I'm still here."
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Posted by: marja-leena | February 23, 2008 at 06:54 PM
Beautiful and sad - these stories of your father-in-law make me weep and laugh. Also sending a hug -
Posted by: Theriomorph | February 23, 2008 at 08:50 PM
I am so glad he's still here. I love it when you write about him. He seems like such a wonderful man.
Posted by: kaycie | February 24, 2008 at 02:15 AM
Sorry to hear about this development--all best wishes to you and J. and healing prayers for your father-in-law.
Posted by: margaret | February 24, 2008 at 07:36 PM
Good for him. I'm very glad he's still here, and I hope to be as full of curiosity -- and as expressive -- if I reach his accumulation of years. Thanks, as always, for the post.
Posted by: language hat | February 25, 2008 at 10:25 AM
I have been a "silent" reader of your work for some time, but I feel compelled to respond to this entry. I am glad to hear that he is doing well. He seems to be such an interesting man. (It is hard to imagine that his own country can't even pronounce his name...wow). I feel as though I know him personally, you write so frequently and lovingly about him. I can sense the fondness you hold for him. I am curious...how is your father doing? I recall a post reflecting on a visit to ancestrial burial grounds, but haven't heard much about him since. I hope that he is well, too.
Posted by: Jaelin | February 25, 2008 at 11:04 AM
Glad to hear he is doing better. I'm sure your next visit will be filled with stories! I'm looking forward to hearing about them.
Posted by: Martine | February 25, 2008 at 12:18 PM
dear Beth, I don't comment often enough these days, but just wanted to say how much I love these posts about your father-in-law, and after reading them he & you & yours are in my thoughts.
Posted by: elizabeth | February 25, 2008 at 10:39 PM
You can't keep a good man down! Interesting he wanted to be kept out of hospital but it seems to be quite an interesting and stimulating environment now he's there. I hope he continues well and comfortably for a good while yet.
( Your online conversation with Tony is a brave and interesting commitment, I look forward to more...)
Posted by: Lucy | February 26, 2008 at 04:45 AM
Thanks, everyone, your care and comments about my father-in-law are very much appreciated.
Hi Jaelin -- my email back to you didn't go through, so here's a reply -- Thank you so much for writing, and for your concern about our two fathers. My father-in-law is a true character but I probably don't write as much about his difficult aspects as the good ones. That's OK. We hope he'll be home from the hospital today. My own father is doing much better, both physically and emotionally. He's fully recovered from his two knee replacements and is playing competitive table tennis again and doing a huge amount of exercise - it exhausts me to think about, and he's 83! He still gets sad about my mother, as do I, but he's much more adjusted now to life on his own. It's very kind of you to ask about them both, and I'm really glad you let me know you "were there." I know there are a number of silent readers of this blog and it's always great when one of them decides to send an email or comment. Thanks.
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