Coping with Societal Change

You know, I wish we could all sit down over tea and talk about the issues raised by the "Feral Capitalism" post and in the comments. I think we'd find that we agreed on many points. Immigration is, to me, an issue separate from the riots, though there are cross-threads. I don't think anyone has suggested that the British rioters were mainly immigrants, but that the lack of jobs is attributable in some measure to the influx of immigrants as well as offshore manusfacturing. And I certainly hope no one is saying that immigrants are, somehow, worse or more neglectful parents. From my own experience in both America and Canada, the opposite might well be true. Immigrants are among the hardest-working people in these societies, whether we are talking about students, fast-food workers, shop-keepers or doctors, precisely because they have come for freedom and opportunity, expect to work hard, and do not have a sense of entitlement.

Among my own close friends, all of whom have tried hard to be good parents, the majority of the children have thrived but there are some who have gotten into genuinely serious trouble, floundered, made a series of very bad decisions, or had difficulty with substance-abuse. Others have suffered from depression and mental illness, seemingly from a variety of causes, one of which is anxiety caused by an inability to cope with the pressures of modern life as adults. Several of these young adults have had problems with managing anger and frustration. "Tough love", counseling, and medication have all helped, but even these have failed at times. Parents who must work outside the home, and are often raising children alone, without the extended families and neighborhoods and churches that used to form the basic structure of social life, cannot possibly counter all the influences to which a child or young adult today is subjected, and cannot protect them from the fears, anxieties, and uncertainties to which we are all subject and from which we all suffer to one degree or another! Violence has come much closer in the West, both in reality and through the media and technology. Parents are primarily responsible for teaching children right and wrong, that is certain, but they themselves have to have a decent childhood where they learned respect and were themselves respected, and to have internalized a personal value system and the skills for passing on. Meanwhile, all around us are examples of people who are seemingly rewarded with wealth and fame for their talent, perhaps, but also for their greed, corruption, and flagrantly consumptive habits; some children are much more susceptible to these pressures than others.

And ever since Watergate, I think we've all grown more aware of the hypocrisy and unfairness that seem part and parcel of politics, government, and institutions. I knew a lapsed Catholic businessman, who used to repeat, "I was taught differently, and try to behave differently, but I've learned that nice guys finish last." In a world where acquisition of money and possessions is a primary goal, who is arguing effecively with that? As religious belief and attendance decline -- as a result, partially, of the hypocrisy of the church, the abuse scandals, and its failure to adapt and speak effectively to modern men and women -- one wonders, actually, why more people don't lie, cheat, and steal. In secular life, one can run up debts and declare bankruptcy with impunity. How many people nowdays believe they'll be accountable in an afterlife, let alone in this one, for breaking the ten commandments, if they even have an idea what they are?

There is a whole constellation of reasons why social values and a sense of participation and fairness have broken down in our societies. My reason for writing the previous post was to try to go deeper than the "bad parenting" answer and ask WHY -- and let's stick to white anglo-saxon culture, since there is no evidence that I've seen to blame these riots on immigrants. In my own WASP family, which has been in the U.S. since the first boats arrived from England, there have been people who've contributed a lot to society and some who have not. Those who have, have fought in the wars and farmed the land and taught in the schools and volunteered in churches and organizations, and raised "decent" children. Yet, like Jean, I feel no sense of entitlement or earned privilege as an American, none whatsoever. I feel incredibly fortunate to have been born free and to have had loving parents who gave me a good education and continued to love and encourage me. I know now that this is far more rare than it should be, but I refuse to judge other people. Instead, I want to try to understand, and to share what I've been given -- especially the love and understanding -- with those who don't have the same.

My husband's family came only one generation ago from the Middle East and Armenia, escaping persecution and seeking education and opportunity. They worked hard, just as my ancestors did when they came here from England. If we had had children they would have been browner than I am, just as the world is gradually growing browner. That's fine with me. I have no attachment to some notion of "American" culture, nor can I even define it: unlike the Tea Partiers, who have a much narrower view, to me American culture is this rich melting pot that results from immigration, mixed cultural contact, and intermarriage. I do not believe in cultural, racial, religious, sexual, ethnic, ancestral or economic superiority; I really do believe all people are created equal and have an absolutely equal right to "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness." Perhaps that's a liberal attitude that's easier to sustain in North America but, after all, it is the founding principle. The difficulty of carrying it out and remembering it ought to be painfully obvious by now, only 235 years into the experiment of American democracy.

The desire for freedom from oppression of all kinds, coupled with the possibility of movement, means that people are going to seek new homes and to mix, and that there will be a subsequent dilution of so-called cultural purity, as well as a loss of ethnic identity in the new homeland. These separate purities, which in their original form gave rise to tribes and nations, have been a source of imperialism, oppression, genocide and war, as well as unique and rich founts of literature, art, cuisine, dress, customs and rituals. No longer separated by geographic boundaries, or even by time and distance, we can neither hide from each other, nor suppress our natural curiosity and hunger for what we see on the other side of the mountain, ocean, desert or river -- or, for that matter, the barbed wire or constructed wall. Human beings will always seek freedom, equality, and a better life for themselves and their children.

Living among the French in Quebec, as part of its English-speaking minority and as one immigrant member of an urban society filled with other immigrants from all over the world, has made me much more conscious of how a small isolated group can feel their unique culture is threatened. (Immigration to Canada is not guaranteed, there is a point system and a long process that must be followed.) But the dark reverse side of cultural preservation is racism. Each society has to decide what matters most, and where their true values ultimately lie: are there ways to offer freedom, openness, asylum, and opportunity and welcome the cultural richness which enhances life, encouraging participation in the society as a whole, while also preserving an existing culture and language? (Shall we ask the indigenous peoples of North America what they think about that?) In Quebec, when some racist (anti-Muslim, most recently) sentiment came to the surface, the whole society engaged in a debate and year-long process with appointed commissioners, because as a nation we wanted to acknowledge the problem of cultural preservation vs. immigration and deal with it openly. I think this will be an ongoing discussion, because it is generally agreed here that racism is unacceptable, immigration is desireable, French culture is valuable, and that we have to find ways of negotiating between the resulting tensions and fears.

Social and economic frustration; changes in values and behavior; loss of the familiar and precious; the breakdown of family and community support and increasing isolation of the individual; the omnipresent influence of technology and media; the diminishing reward of education and hard work; corporate and governmental corruption and greed; violence moving closer to us: these are very difficult issues, and I think we've already recognized here that they are interrelated. I'm glad we can talk about them and try to trust each other.

Comments

[Mouse]

Dear Beth. I hope that my previous comments were not interpreted as anti-immigrants per se because that is not the case, not at all. I value the contribution of different cultures and I love this diversity. But Britain is a small and over-crowded country, many, many people from other countries are keen to come here and the government's apparent positive discrimination in their favour does cause problems.

I did not place the blame for the recent riots on the immigrants to the UK. For the most part they are often the most hardworking and law-abiding citizens amongst us.

Parenting, well, of course it takes good parents to pass on their values and skills to their own children who will, in turn, become good parents in due course. I was fortunate to have been able to spend ten years as a fulltime mother but that did require a great many sacrifices, especially on the part of their father who worked 14 hours a day, six days a week in order to support us. My own career was effectively ruined but neither of us regret our decision, we raised two decent kids and that was our most important role at the time.

I think that kids today need time and attention and access to as many good experiences as it is possible to give them. They need to have confidence in their own worth and to see that the world of opportunities is open to them regardless of their background and upbringing. It is only when people feel that they have a stake in their future that they will be responsible for their actions.

I feel incredibly sorry for the kids who were involved in the riots, not for the opportunist light-fingered thieves who took advantage of the troubles to help themselves to goods that they neither needed nor really wanted, but for the kids who feel frustrated and angry and invisible.

Our kids are out future and we should invest wisely in them

[marly youmans]

I have a lot of thoughts about these two posts on change but no time to write about them now! But isn't it interesting that bookstores were the only thing save from rioters?

[Hanah]

Marly, where the bookstores "saved," or were they merely ignored because they housed nothing of value?

[Jean]

They were ignored because the rioters weren't after books :-( They weren't actually the only places not attacked. In many (though not all) cases, the break-ins and looting were very targeted: jewellers, pawnbrokers, phone shops, trainer (sneaker) shops... But it was noticeable that bookshops were untouched.

Jean in London

[marly youmans]

Fallen world = typos everywhere! "safe" from rioters!

Hanah, exactly that. Nothing of value for the rioters, alas.

Jean, I said they must have had poetry volumes in the window. Like a cross against vampires... Nice to know we poets can protect ourselves.

[Dave]

Whenever I hear people blaming societal ills on bad parenting and calling for tough love, I think with a shudder of places like this: http://motherjones.com/print/114956

[Beth]

Well, Dave, I don't blame you -- that is truly sick. I don't think that's what "tough love" is supposed to mean.

[Jean]

No, certainly not what I meant by it. A truly horrifying report.

[Hattie]

The bookshops were untouched will probably become the mantra of the reaction to the riots. Were they really? And why is this considered significant? What do bookstores stand for? Right thinking? Culture? The last time I was in a book store it had stupid best sellers and gift items in it, mostly. I get my books at the library or on my Kindle.
I also think that the #1 issue for most people about the riots is who to blame and who to punish, not what to do to better the situation.
Beth, I really do appreciate your thoughtful posts on this subject and other matters of importance.
Oh, and as to "tough love;" I lived in Portland at a time when Evangelical Christians were throwing their kids out on the street in droves. It was terrible.

[Hanah]

Thanks for your responses about the bookstores, Jean, Marly, and Hattie. Sorry that I seemed to have abruptly butted in on this discussion. I had posted an earlier reply thanking Beth and everyone for these posts and comments, but I see now that it didn't make it through. (I'm traveling with bad net connections and I'm using other people's computers.)

[Cicy Tu]

Idon't think that when people grow up, they will become morebroad-minded and can accept everything. Conversely, I think it's aselecting process, knowing what's the most important and what's theleast. And then be a simple man.

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[hal lewis]

I read today a quote from the London uprising:

"You call on us to consume while simultaneously depriving us of the means to do it properly --- so here we are doing it the only way we can."

The capitalist societies around the world are built on consume, consume, consume, the US economy is 60% consume. The question is how to people consume without jobs? How anyone can believe that cutting here, cutting there is going to help solve the problem? Alain Badiou the French philosopher has argued that we live in a social space which is increasingly experienced as "worldless"; in such a space, the only form protest can take is meaningless violence.