Alternation

In spite of depressing world news, local corruption scandals, tax havens for the wealthiest corporations, life on a small scale is good, and busy. I'm going away soon on a short trip to visit friends and family, my cold is almost entirely gone and thoughI (of course) passed it on to J., he's getting better quickly. The weather has finally turned warm. I spent yesterday and today working through my to-do list: trying to find tall bamboo stakes for the delphinium plants in my garden (none to be found in any of the stores I visited); working in said garden to get it ready so I can leave; finishing hem of skirt and hem of skirt lining and doing a final press; figuring out what clothes to take; doing some ironing; making arrangements for Manon; doing the laundry;  picking up a package at the post office and going to the pharmacy; bringing the plants from their winter home in our studio to the summer home on the terrace; making lunch and dinner and trying to use up everything in the refrigerator.

So this is the last day of May, the month when I thought I'd be posting a drawing every day. Thinking back, I really started the drawing project in earnest at the beginning of April. It turned out to be too big a commitment to post a finished drawing here every day, but the best part is that I seem to have gotten back into the habit of sketching and drawing regularly -- almost every day, if not every single one. I'm happy about that, and happy about many of the drawings themselves.

In my weird and wonderful life, this has been the way it's been: unable to choose whether to write, draw, or do music, I've stayed involved in all of them, but kind of moved the individual pieces forward one at a time, in an alternating but unplanned way. There have been periods where I took a lot of music lessons and practiced very intensely, periods where I've done a lot of art, years where I mostly wrote and worked hard on getting better that that. It would have been a lot easier and perhaps more satisfying -- I'm not so sure -- to have a single clear focus and achieve real mastery in it to the exclusion of everything else, but it was never possible in my case, and finally I made my peace with the fact that this was the way I was happiest. One of my choir friends told me her husband is also big believer in what he calls "alternation" - doing one thing with a lot of discipline and intention for a while, and then switching gears. (I guess it's like cross-training, for you athletes out there.) All I know is that this is the way that works for me. Throughout my entire life, whether I was studying it or not, music has been a constant source of joy and solace, both alone and with other people. I haven't always written, or done art, partly because for many years I was doing professional graphic design all day long. I've also always read a lot, and always done something creative "with my hands:" art, sewing, gardening, cooking, knitting, even if it was just a little project that got worked on now and then. I used to spend a lot more time out in nature. For the past ten years, this blog has been another constant.

There are a lot of factors at work, too, for instance the need for solitude, balanced with the need for community; how one's work interacts with one's free time; family and community obligations; relationships; space; money; access to sources of inspiration in daily life.

Any thoughts on your own life, and pursuit of your passions? What helps you move forward, and what holds you back? What are the things you've always wanted to pursue, but maybe never had the time for?

Comments

[Martine]

I wouldn't worry if I were you about being unable to choose between writing, drawing and doing music because you do all three SO well! Imagine the tragedy of someone trying and trying at any of these and not being very good at all... I certainly envy your versatility and I appreciate reading about your creative process in any discipline. So as long as you keep sharing, it's all good :)

Bon voyage à vous deux! Stay hydrated... It's going to be hot!

[Jan]

I'm like you. I have multiple passions to work in between the daily obligations. I get involved in one activity and often let the other areas slide. I always feel guilty, like I should be allotting a set amount of time to each discipline, each and every day, but in the end I choose to follow where my heart is leading me at the moment. I suppose it all works out in the end.

Have a wonderful trip, Beth. Glad to hear you are feeling better.

[flask]

daniel pinkwater has a lovely essay on making art and making art every day. it's in his book fishwhistle. i recommend the audio version with pinkwater reading.

me, i work on something every day. i post something to my blog every day to keep me honest. some of my work is less art and more about a sort of documentary discipline: i am going to grow mushrooms in my kitchen and take photographs of them.

by training i am a composer. for the time being i have lost my musical voice but maybe one day it will come back.

enjoy your travels.

[Tom]

Could I please be excused Ma'am, from the 'prep' you've set us? I'm saving mine for future posts. Have a good break!

[Natalie]

Beth, it would take a book-length reply to respond properly to your question. Like Tom, I think I'll save it for further installments, of the autobio. But as we've often talked about this, you know that I too have suffered (or enjoyed? It's relative) from "l'embaras du choix" - too many choices. But anyway making art is a constant and I can't imagine life without that impetus. In another life or a parallel universe, I think I'd like to have been a composer, or maybe a cabaret singer, or a dancer (not ballet! maybe tango.)

[Dave Bonta]

Our mutual friend L. convinced me some time ago that not only is there no shame in being a dilettante, it's actually something to aspire to. Leave mastery to the obsessive-compulsive, I say.

[Duchesse]

Rotating among interests gives us that sense of balance and connects us to the infinite richness of experience in our lives. As much as I admire devotion and mastery, I also enjoy the gifts of dipping in and out and freedom from the insistence of meeting exacting criteria.

Have a wonderful trip; hope to see you when you're back.

[Dominic]

Fascinating questions there that were at the front of my mind before I read your post.

I was thinking of them because I've been feeling very "held back" recently. I usually have a poem or a short piece of music on the go but I've recently committed myself to a bigger creative project which involves more planning and preparation and work over a long period of time. I decided I shouldn't divert my energy into short pieces and poetry, and that if I felt like working on these I should turn my attention to "the project". I've tried to do this.

Last night I wrote a short poem. OK, it was very bad - but I feel less held back now. I've decided I need to be easier on myself. Discipline has to enable, not disable. I've obviously got to strike a balance.

[Lucy]

I've often thought about the interplay of talent and drive and application, of following through and developing ideas, and what distinguishes the 'real' artist from the rest of us.

I'm on a compulsive knitting jag at the moment;it's funny, because it's something that I've always done from time to time, but not very well, and only as a kind of by-the-way thing. Now it seems really important to do it better, to concentrate and count, learning to read the code of patterns, doing the preparatory stuff, making tension squares etc. and taking the risk of buying good materials. It's as though I need the constraints and repetitive aspect of it.

I might try to post about it - next weekend's Worldwide Knitting Day apparently, so that would be a good moment!