I've just come back from a few days visiting my father, during which I stayed alone at the lake house. He came up during the days and we worked together to get the property ready for him to move back there with his girlfriend this summer. For me, it was a wonderful retreat from city life, combining some good hard outdoor work with a chance to enjoy the solitude of the natural world, and seeing a few friends. As it turned out, I had some rather startling encounters with other creatures -- but that story will be told later!
In the mornings I got up early and took my breakfast down by the shoreline. There were birds singing; chipmunks scurrying; sunfish, bass, and carp basking in the shallows. The three mornings were all different; one day the lake was completely still, another breezy, another foggy. At night I went out on the deck to look at the stars, and slept with the bedroom door open, listening to the frogs and insects. It was just what I'd needed, and worth the long drive back and forth through the Adirondacks and the Mohawk Valley.
My dad is doing really well. At 89, he's planning to compete in table tennis in the New York State Senior Games next weekend in Cortland, and though he's got some stiffness in his legs, seems to be functioning well on his replacement knees and hip. I sure hope I inherited those particular genes; he inspires me to stay as active and limber as I can.
My dad and me at the lake about thirty years ago, in the 1980s.
Staying in the house my parents built also has its sadnesses and strangeness; not much has changed and there are so many reminders of my mother, without her actual presence. I wouldn't say it feels "comforting;" it doesn't. I can't help but wonder how much longer my dad will be able to take care of the house, but I'm glad he still can, and wants to. Of course, these realities make me constantly aware that I'm getting older too. But the sadness doesn't have a sharp edge anymore, nor does my fear of the future. Even rock becomes smoothed by time, and nature, the great teacher, accepts each day in turn.
Beautiful, Beth. Having just returned from a visit to my own parents, in south Texas -- my Dad will be 80 this year; my Mom just turned 78 -- this post is particularly poignant for me.
Posted by: Rachel Barenblat | June 04, 2014 at 02:24 PM
Yes, so beautiful a spot, I can understand how you love it. This is poignant for me too as it brings back for me sadness and tears as I recall my parents' summer cottage in Manitoba. It was sold after mother's death for my father did not want to go there alone all the way from BC where , by this time, they spent the winters. They both died too young.
Posted by: Marja-Leena | June 04, 2014 at 02:33 PM
The photo shows where (at least in part) your vitality comes from.
My parent's cottage in No. Michigan had doors with the shapes and dates of prize fish caught in the lake woodburned onto them, and a flowing artesian well with a live box. (Sooner or later those fish ended up on a plate!) I miss the place, and them.
Posted by: Duchesse | June 04, 2014 at 05:50 PM
When I saw the photo on the boat on FB, I thought at first it was an ad for some upstate NY lake! It does sound like a lovely place. Glad your dad is so fit and active. I'll be visiting my 86-yo dad in a couple of weeks, but he uses a walker and is very sedentary. I haven't been up at the beach where my parents retired on the NH seacoast yet this year, given the chilly spring and as yet changeable weather. I loved being up there evenings when all the day trippers had gone home, although my memories are somewhat fraught with conflicts with my mother and my own unhappiness too much of the time.
Posted by: Leslee | June 04, 2014 at 06:55 PM
I will be going up this summer to get my mother situated on Beaver Island. She's 92. How many years will she be able to handle the cabin? My siblings and I can only hope she enjoys as many years as possible
Posted by: Jan | June 04, 2014 at 07:03 PM
What a wonderful respite. You are certainly blessed with your Dad. Terrific picture of the two of you--you look so happy.
Posted by: Mary | June 05, 2014 at 12:02 AM
An idyllic setting indeed. Now physical exercise? Fine if it is a necessary result of some other worthwhile activity, but exercise for the sake of exercise? Shudder the thought! :)
Posted by: Tom | June 05, 2014 at 05:06 AM
What a stunning landscape and all the more wonderful that it's in your family and in your heart. It's great that your Dad is doing so well and living life to the full - forever young (my motto!).
Posted by: Natalie | June 07, 2014 at 07:07 AM