Mid-February, and the winter doldrums have finally hit. It's been so damn cold up here, for so long, that the throngs of people moving through the transport system feel sullen, withdrawn, silent. At least it doesn't seem like as many people are sick as last year; when you get on a bus everyone isn't hacking away. Swathed in our layers of sweaters and fleece and down and fur, we slog through piles of snow, under which is slippery ice, hard as concrete. All the floors of public passages and entryways are muddy and wet, so you have to be careful not to slip both inside and outside. Today was bright and sunny and I checked the thermometer before leaving home, thinking maybe it was a bit warmer -- but no, it's -23C! (-9.4 F) You've got to be kidding.
Something I love, though, and find hard to describe to people who've never lived in the north: the clarity of the air. On a morning like this, absolutely clear blue and extremely cold, it's as if a sharpening filter has been applied to everything in front of your eyes. The distance has no atmospheric perspective, no haze. And the air doesn't feel like anything except coldness: there's no moisture to give it thickness, just your breath which condenses the minute it leaves your body. It's almost...as if the air isn't there. And yet, what else is it that hits you the minute you walk out the door? So it's quite strange, this double sensation of an invisible wall of coldness, and its utter clarity, so that you feel you can walk through it and see through it and hear through it with perfect transparency.
On the unusual mornings when we leave the island and drive over the Jacques Cartier bridge and the frozen St. Lawrence, and the air has this quality, I love to look at the city: the glass and steel and stone gleaming in the sunlight, every church spire and skyscraper tower a cut-out punctuation against the sky. The far becomes near, and of more equal importance with the close and familiar. Of course, there is steam rising straight up from heating towers, but wood fires have been restricted in recent years, so there is much less smoke.
From the height of the bridge, you can see the monadnocks of the Montérégie above the flat floodplains of the great river, where the productive Quebec farms lie sleeping under their white duvets, and the mountains of Vermont in the far distance. Somehow it is like looking back across my own life with bright dispassionate vision, and a surgical clarity that's so sharp it doesn't hurt at all.
I'm about done with winter—although at least today the sun is shining brightly here as well, and we have some of the high-mountain clarity that makes the chill more tolerable.
It's indisputable, though: the older I get, the less I enjoy the cold season. If I could do it cheaply and painlessly, I'd gladly spend January and February somewhere warm and sunny.
Posted by: Nina T | February 13, 2015 at 03:08 PM
What a beautiful last line that is.
I am struggling with the winter doldrums too. But it is a beautiful sunny day here, even if it was -8F this morning and is now all of 6F. Maybe I should bundle up and go outdoors and find something beautiful to photograph.
Posted by: Rachel Barenblat | February 13, 2015 at 03:25 PM
Kia ora Beth...one thing I miss about a Wisconsin winter is that cold clear air, but even 20 years since living in one I do not miss the middle of Feb. at all. Kia Kaha e hoa...I am sure the smell of spring is not far away. If you want a little summer warmth I have put a new post up at my place..
Aroha,
Robb
Posted by: Robb | February 13, 2015 at 04:42 PM
When I hiked in the Adirondacks I loved the winter most of all because it was much easier to breathe. It was very easy to notice too.
Posted by: kate | February 13, 2015 at 08:38 PM
One thing I've noticed which I don't know is true or just me getting older is that our winter sky seems to be grey more than the bright blue I remember. We just don't seem to be having those gorgeous white and blue days. So is the winter getting harder to take or is it just that I am finding it harder to take? Don't know but I am looking forward to spring and the hundreds of bulbs we planted.
Posted by: Sharyn | February 14, 2015 at 09:32 AM
Your photos of the cold hard brick, steel and steam say it all. A perfect combination with the sentiment.
Posted by: Martha Nelson | February 14, 2015 at 09:50 AM
I absolutely adore that first photo.
You capture so well the crystal-blue intensity of bitterly cold days. The air IS clearer, and sounds seem louder. There's something magical when the sun is out, the sky is deep blue, and the snow is so cold, it squeaks underfoot.
Posted by: Lorianne | February 14, 2015 at 06:22 PM
The key to me is the sunshine in your first photo. I love to head out, dressed for the extreme cold, and feel the sun's presence (if not warmth). If a week passes with no sun , just that lead-y gloom, then I'm low. Extreme cold also gives the idea to drink hot chocolate (the real kind, at Juliette et Chocolat)!
Posted by: Duchesse | February 17, 2015 at 09:11 AM