Fifteen Years

A post 9/11 tile from lower Manhattan, June 2004

Fifteen years ago today, the U.S. invaded Iraq, and I started this blog. I just re-read what I wrote on March 20, 2003 (link here, scroll down to the last entry on the page), under my then-new moniker of "Cassandra," after the Trojan princess and prophetess who was cursed to be always right, but disbelieved. Those words from 2003 still sound like me, and I still think what I wrote then is true: that we're witnessing the death-throes of patriarchy and, especially, white male domination of the world and its systems, and that ultimately we'll see a world with greater justice and equality for all of its people -- though the fate of the natural world is not at all secure. In 2003 I tried to take a long view., and still do. But even I would not have prophesied that things would go from bad to so very much worse in the space of this decade and a half, with so much suffering for so many.

Ice fishing shacks on Lake Champlain, winter 2004, and Canadian cornfields

 

On the personal side, we did make some major decisions: we moved. 40% of my tax dollars are no longer being spent on the military, but on a mix of social services such as universal healthcare, prescription drug coverage, affordable daycare for children. I live further north, in a province which is the most progressive in North America, among many people who have a world view and values similar to my own. But though that may make my everyday life more consonant with my beliefs -- and the tax thing was a major moral issue for me -- I think resistance is imperative no matter where we live. As social media data becomes "harvested" for ill purposes, we are all complicit in these larger systems, unconfined by borders and unregulated by government. As migration due to violence, oppression, and hunger affects more and more of the world, are we really going to allow ourselves to be divided into two warring camps: people who have compassion for their neighbors as for themselves, and are willing to share, and those who will do whatever they can to protect what they have from the undeserving, fearful, and inferior "other?"

At a blogger meet-up in Montreal, in spring 2006l: Tom Montag, Lucy Boyce, and Dave Bonta

But, also on the personal side, my life changed because of this blog. In addition to the extremely valuable practice of near-daily writing, it has given me some of the best friends of my life, and relationships and conversations that continue to this day. In recent years it's given me a forum for sharing not just my thoughts in words and photographs, but my art, and all three of those personal pursuits have improved hugely as a result. In turn, I've been privileged to read your words and see your bodies of work develop and change. Out of those relationships have come several collaborative efforts, including a literary magazine, qarrtsiluni, and my own publishing venture, Phoenicia. And this blog also functions for me like the diaries I kept before: as a personal record of my life and thoughts that would now fill a small shelf of books. So I can't even find words for how significant blogging has been for me, but I'm extremely grateful.

An earlier version of us, in Montreal, 2006

For some of us who've hung in here for a long time, there's another factor that bears consideration. We've seen the rise of social media, and the exodus from blogging as a result -- and I understand why that has happened, both in terms of the ease of communication afforded by social media, and the decline in blog readership and commenting that many of us have found discouraging. I often wonder who is still reading here, beyond those who tell me so. But, just like the demise of the book, the prediction of the death of serious longer-form personal writing on the web seems to have been not only premature but wrong. I see the pendulum swinging back somewhat; for instance, this January, poets Donna Vorreyer and Kelli Russell Agodon suggested that writer-bloggers resolve to post on their blogs once a week, and the list who signed on became huge. My friend Dave Bonta has been making a weekly compendium of some of the best of those posts in his Poet Bloggers Revival Digest. Quite a few of us have gained readers through posting links to our blog from Instagram or Facebook; others use long-form platforms such as Medium.

In my studio, with a young Manon, and art inspired by Iceland, 2008.

But as we see the more nefarious side of social media, questions do (and should) arise about our own participation. I want to own my own content, and I want to control my own presence on the web -- the only way to do that is to maintain my own sites, and limit my use of social media. The incursions into  privacy that have happened over these fifteen years are way beyond anything I would have envisioned, and millions of us have rolled over and done exactly what the mega-corporations have wanted us to do, becoming unwitting pawns for financial gain and political exploitation. I'm going to be looking hard at this, and hope you will too.

 

Comments

[Rachel Barenblat]

It's extraordinary to me to recognize that you've been blogging for 15 years and that we've known each other for -- well, if not quite *that* long, close to it! I am endlessly glad that our mutual online presences brought us into each others' spheres, literary and personal, online and off. I am so grateful for your words and your presence. The Cassandra Pages continues to be an oasis for me in an increasingly challenging internet. I'm glad you are there.

[Rana]

Definitely thinking about this. What complicates things is that my blogging previously was pseudonymous, so the transition from "known" social media person to "semi-known" blogger is going to be trickier than it was in the other direction.

[Maria]

It seems incredible that it has been 15 years! I do miss those early years of engagement we had in our community of bloggers but I can't blame the times or social media or anything else for my choice to have dropped my blog. Your blog here has been a beacon and an inspiration.

I keep trying to come up with ways to blog again, but I feel so far swept out to sea that I don't seem to be able to drop that blog anchor anywhere these days.

[AJ McSedge]

As someone who has read on and off over the years (I can no longer remember how I stumbled into this space), I have thoroughly enjoyed being along for the ride. Long may it continue.

[Natalie]

Beth, felicitations and happy 15th blogday! Indeed we are among the few remainers in the blogging community, at least in our blogging community, I can't speak for others I don't know about. I'm with you on all that you've said in this post. I'd love to ditch Facebook, especially in the light of the latest revelations (last Sunday's Observer was full of the story) but for the moment it's the only place I get regular feedback and that does matter. Would those FB friendships continue if I dropped FB? I don't know. Continuing to share your thoughts and images online via Cassandra, regardless of whether anyone responds, that's admirable and much braver, more consistent than I am. You've reminded me that I too started blogging 15 years ago next month and it really is time for a change and a deep look at what's next. Thank you for every one of those 15 Cassandra blogyears. A caress to the lovely petite Manon for me and hugs to you and Jonathan.

[Kathy Hughes]

Beth as you know I am not a blogger but a lifelong friend who cherishes your friendship and always feels closer to you after reading the Cassandra pages. Since we can no longer be close in proximity since your move having your words to read means more than you can imagine...thank you and give that J a kiss from me!

[Roderick Robinson]

Although I didn't say so at the time (which is a wonder) I imagined your conversion to Canada was something of a whim. Now, for once, silence has proved golden and I'm delighted to commend you on such an act of principle.

I had the chance to become a US citizen but VR said it would have been a mistake for a variety of reasons. No blot on the US but this was the case although there were periods (one lasting almost five years) when I doubted the decision. Now I receive a small US pension and Trump reigns but this hardly compares with your much sterner choice.

You have integrated (eg, the choir) and been an excellent ambassador for the country "to the north". It has been a good thing.

[mary mccloskey]

Beth,
15 years. Years that I've so enjoyed reading your words. I remember finding you shortly after my John got sick and reading you through that long time really helped me. In fact, I think John found you online first. Your writing has helped me to think deeper about things and clarify my thoughts. I look for you more on Instagram these days and click back to the blog when you indicate that you've written something longer. I am so worried about our country. Tomorrow I'm strapping on my gym shoes and marching with the kids against guns in Chicago. So literally just putting one foot in front of the other and trying to live with kindness.Congratulations on 15 years! Looking forward to many more.

[Duchesse]

Fifteen years is like a centenary in blog time! I found you through a bloglist on "As Time Goes By" and am ever grateful.

I still appreciate the power of the internet as an aggregator, making possible posts such as yours on guns. In the old days, that would have required assiduous clipping or hours of research. For me, that's powerful- and I trade it off on marketers knowing my bra size.

I worked for many years with a major internet service provider, and one of the first things a colleague told me was, "Never forget that when you go to the Internet, the Internet comes to you."

[Andrea M.]

Happy 15th, Cassandra Pages! Hope you'll keep on keepin' on.