« 19 Years | Main | Desk, Domain »

April 26, 2022


Beth, I'm so sorry for the loss of your family member. Reading your words reminds me of my own cold spring, the changes I haven't spent as much time noticing, and the necessity of slowing down to see what is nestled below surfaces gradually thawing.

I am so glad that your father was able to have your support and love.

Dear Beth,
I am so sorry to hear about the death of your father’s partner, Barbara. I can only imagine how worried you must be about him, losing his dear companion at his age. I can’t tell you how much I miss you and Jonathan. Am thinking of you with fondness, and hope we can get together before too long. Much love, Bente.

Mimosa, thank you very much for your words and your sympathy. And I hope you can take some time to get out into nature and see what you can find. Always lots of lessons there for me, when I manage to slow down.

Thank you Deborah. It was my privilege too, and I'm sure I'll look back on those difficult weeks as a special time.

Thank you, Bente, I was glad to find your message. Extreme old age is remarkable, but you have to be as tough as he is, or as your mother was, to endure it!

So much loss and change. You are navigating it all with great grace. My condolences and my best wishes for your transition to your new home!

The photos as well as your writing reveal great love in a time of loss of family and friends. Your life is enriched with deep emotional ties. Good to hear from you. Kindest wishes always.

Ah, the wrench. From the home one has created over decades to a residence designed to compensate for one's physical inadequacies. My wife and I presently live in a four-bedroom detached house which provides the unspeakable luxury of a study/workshop for each of us. But it cannot last much longer. I am 86 and on chemotherapy, my wife is two years younger and suffers from a variety of old-age ailments. Should we wait until disaster forces us to change - as happened to your father - or make a planned move while we are both compos mentis? More particularly, dare we spend thousands for the wider family on a rented villa on the Mediterranean coast this August - a parting shot at France and all its intellectual diversions - or should we accept we've already paid our last visit there? Surprisingly my medical advisers (of which there are many) seem to favour the idea of a holiday and money has been tentatively spent.

I note your father is almost half a generation older than I am (and I thought I was aged!). The key issue, from my point of view, is whether one may usefully adopt a philosophical attitude towards all-round decay or whether one should go the Dylan Thomas route. I infer that your father opted for the former. We'll see. But let it not be tomorrow, there's so much Schubert still unexplored.

I wondered where you were, Beth, and wondered if you were with your father. So it's good to know that you're OK and so, for now, is he. But you must be so tired after this recent time, and distress, and decision-making. I hope you will be very good to yourselves through the moving process, opt for all the practical help available. And I wish you everything you wish for yourselves in your new home, which I'm sure is lovely. Love and thanks for the beautiful thoughts and pictures you share, as always.

Dear Beth,
I am so sorry for your father’s loss of companionship. How lucky they were. I love your feelings associated with the landscapes in central New York. It is a comforting place to rest from the world.

Such beautiful photos and writing. Thanks for filling us in. I'm so glad your father is still hanging in there!

So sorry for all you have been through. It sounds like you handled it all so beautifully and gently.

Sending love and hugs. You and Jonathan are going through so much. And handling it like champions. But it still hurts. I really love the photos. They would make great watercolours too.

Beth, Your words are beautiful in describing your father and his partner's time together. We wish him well in adjusting to his new situation and know you and Jonathan will handle your transition with ease as you always do. We send our love and prayers.

My dearest Beth, what a traumatic time for you and your father. I'm so sorry for your loss and am holding you and Jonathan and your father in my heart and my thoughts, I mean this sincerely. What admirable, courageous, life-celebrating, inspiring individuals you are.

I apologise for my absence here at Cassandra's welcoming home where there is always something beautiful to see, to absorb and to reflect on. As time goes by (you know my age) I admit to being more reluctant to leave my self-built tin tower. Ivory was never available so keeping the DIY construction standing in the 'real' (?) world is my more or less daily, more or less metaphorical job. Everything is more or less now. Love and friendship are definitely in the More section so please take no notice of my absences.

May the peacefulness of your words and images be a promise of things to come.

Dear Beth,
So sorry to hear this very sad news. Can't imagine how hard all this change must be for your Dad and just wrenching for you, getting everything in place and then returning home only to have to summon the energy to move again. Many years ago I first wrote to you when my husband was first diagnosed with cancer. Your word were such a tonic to me then and I have always been so grateful for your kindness. Hope your Dad is able to find some joy in the new place and that your new home offers much comfort in the days ahead.

The comments to this entry are closed.

My Photo

Who was Cassandra?

  • In the Iliad, she is described as the loveliest of the daughters of Priam (King of Troy), and gifted with prophecy. The god Apollo loved her, but she spurned him. As a punishment, he decreed that no one would ever believe her. So when she told her fellow Trojans that the Greeks were hiding inside the wooden horse...well, you know what happened.